😂 Free
Why did the Scottish garden bench complain?
Nobody wanted to sit in the rain.
Your daily dose of funny.
One fresh free joke each day. Want more? Unlock the whole joke collection for just 89p a week.
Why did the paper aeroplane smile? Its plans were taking off.
THE FUNNY SIDE
Log in or register to subscribe →More laughs. Less waiting.
Get access to every premium joke for 89p/week. Cancel anytime.
🔒 Premium jokes are for subscribers only.
😂One free joke a day
A fresh reason to groan every single day.
⭐Premium laughs
Unlock the premium collection for just 89p a week.
📱Laugh anywhere
Enjoy jokes on your phone, tablet or computer.
THE LAUGH LAB
Quick jokes
Browse short jokes here, or choose a category for more.
😂 Browse all joke categories, including Long / Story Jokes →
😂 Free
Why did the gnome worry?
It was under constant observation.
😂 Free
Why did the coffee filter give good advice?
It knew what to let through.
😂 Free
Why did the Scottish tea cosy feel proud?
It kept the whole pot warm.
😂 Free
Why did the compost heap get praised?
It made the best of everything.
😂 Free
Why did the washing machine dance?
It had a great spin cycle.
😂 Free
Why did the Scottish picnic blanket stay folded?
It was waiting for the sun to show up.
😂 Free
Why did the speaker get praised?
It made sure everyone was heard.
😂 Free
Why did the pencil become a tutor?
It knew how to make a point.
😂 Free
Why did the Scottish road sign wear a coat?
It was facing a wee stiff breeze.
😂 Free
Why did the cabinet smile?
It had everything in order.
😂 Free
Why did the Scottish toaster apologise?
It had burned the morning rolls.
😂 Free
Why did the mixing bowl make friends?
It brought everyone together.
😂 Free
Why did the school bell smile?
It had finally called it a day.
😂 Free
Why did the music stand smile?
It had a note-worthy role.
😂 Free
Why did the scoreboard feel important?
It kept everyone in the picture.
😂 Free
Why did the Scottish forecast laugh?
It had only one prediction.
😂 Free
Why did the paper aeroplane smile?
Its plans were taking off.
😂 Free
Why did the corner flag worry?
It was always on the edge.
😂 Free
Why did the Scottish shelter feel appreciated?
It had a queue every afternoon.
😂 Free
Why did the school bag take a nap?
It had carried the whole day.
😂 Free
Why did the office chair worry?
It was under a lot of pressure.
😂 Free
Why did the cupboard make friends?
It always had something to offer.
😂 Free
Why was the umbrella handle nervous?
It was trying to get a grip.
😂 Free
Why did the garden gloves get praised?
They never shied away from hard work.
😂 Free
Why did the pan feel accomplished?
It had cooked up a good plan.
😂 Free
Why did the goalkeeper take a nap?
He needed to save his energy.
😂 Free
Why did the apron smile?
It was ready for anything messy.
😂 Free
Why did the flag feel special?
It flew for the whole team.
😂 Free
Why did the lunch tray shake?
It had a lot on its plate.
😂 Free
Why did the Scottish rain boots smile?
They finally felt useful.
😂 Free
Why did the whistle worry?
It had to make the final call.
😂 Free
Why did the office kettle make everyone smile?
It always brought people together for a brew.
😂 Free
Why did the Scottish park umbrella feel busy?
It never got a day off.
😂 Free
Why did the hose worry?
It was about to be put under pressure.
😂 Free
Why did the helmet smile?
It had everything under control.
😂 Free
Why did the sponge make friends?
It soaked up every story.
😂 Free
Why did the greenhouse get praised?
It helped everyone grow.
😂 Free
Why did the office printer smile?
It was finally getting good feedback.
😂 Free
Why did the colander feel clever?
It let the bad stuff drain away.
😂 Free
Why did the monitor get praised?
It kept everyone focused.
😂 Free
Why did the kitchen timer smile?
Everything was coming together right on time.
😂 Free
Why did the training bib feel special?
It was part of the squad.
😂 Free
Why did the window smile?
It had a bright outlook.
😂 Free
Why did the pencil pot smile?
It had a point to everything.
😂 Free
Why did the captain worry?
The whole team was counting on him.
😂 Free
Why did the gym clock get stronger?
It worked out around the clock.
😂 Free
Why did the football manager buy a map?
The team kept losing its way.
😂 Free
Why did the Scottish teapot complain?
Everyone wanted just one more wee cup.
😂 Free
Why was the paintbrush so confident?
It always made a good impression.
😂 Free
Why did the baker cycle to work?
To get a little dough-ercise.
😂 Free
Why did the bookmark ask for directions?
It had lost its place.
😂 Free
Why did the apron feel important?
It was always in the thick of things.
😂 Free
Why was the clock stressed?
It was running out of time to relax.
😂 Free
Why did the fence make friends?
It was good at keeping neighbours together.
😂 Free
Why did the snowman pack a suitcase?
He was ready for a change of climate.
😂 Free
Why did the thermostat win an award?
It always knew the room.
😂 Free
Why did the referee refuse a second cup?
He'd already blown the whistle on tea time.
😂 Free
Why did the Scottish lamp save electricity?
It was watching its wee bill.
😂 Free
Why did the fork get a medal?
It was outstanding in its field of cutlery.
😂 Free
Why did the football sock need a holiday?
It was worn out from training.
😂 Free
Why did the mirror offer advice?
It could see both sides of the problem.
😂 Free
Why did the paint tin feel accomplished?
It had covered a lot of ground.
😂 Free
Why did the roundabout feel dizzy?
It had been going in circles all morning.
😂 Free
Why did the microphone stay silent?
It didn't want to amplify the problem.
😂 Free
Why did the maths teacher buy new shoes?
The old pair didn't add up.
😂 Free
Why did the snowman greet everyone?
He wanted to break the ice.
😂 Free
Why did the tomato win the quiz?
It knew all the saucy answers.
😂 Free
Why did the vacuum cleaner retire?
It was tired of sucking up to everyone.
😂 Free
Why did the beach hire an accountant?
It had too many outstanding balances of sand.
😂 Free
Why was the Wi-Fi signal worried?
It feared losing touch.
😂 Free
Why did the lighthouse take a day off?
It needed to recharge its beam.
😂 Free
Why did the ruler leave the competition?
It couldn't measure up.
😂 Free
Why did the window cleaner smile?
Things were looking clearer.
😂 Free
Why did the cushion win the race?
It had a soft landing planned.
😂 Free
Why did the skateboard pass its exam?
It rolled through every question.
😂 Free
Why did the mouse love the library?
It could squeak by unnoticed.
😂 Free
Why was the pencil case upset?
It couldn't contain itself.
😂 Free
Why did the piano visit the seaside?
It wanted to relax by the keys.
😂 Free
Why did the captain share lunch?
Teamwork was his bread and butter.
😂 Free
Why did the train finish its homework early?
It was on the right track.
😂 Free
Why did the bicycle bell enter a talent show?
It had a ringing voice.
😂 Free
Why did the popcorn avoid the cinema?
It couldn't handle the suspense.
😂 Free
He was outstanding in his field.
😂 Free
All the fans left.
😂 Free
It had too many problems.
😂 Free
They might crack each other up.
😂 Free
A dino-snore.
😂 Free
Nothing.
It just waved.
😂 Free
It saw the salad dressing.
😂 Free
It was framed.
😂 Free
An impasta.
😂 Free
Pop.
😂 Free
Because then it would be a foot.
😂 Free
Its days were numbered.
😂 Free
A gummy bear.
😂 Free
It swept in.
😂 Free
In case he got a hole in one.
😂 Free
A meow-tain.
😂 Free
Eclipse it.
😂 Free
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
😂 Free
It had a virus.
😂 Free
It wasn’t peeling well.
😂 Free
They use honeycombs.
😂 Free
A labracadabrador.
😂 Free
I’ll meet you at the corner.
😂 Free
It held up a pair of trousers.
😂 Free
It felt crummy.
😂 Free
They work on so many levels.
😂 Free
Because it was two-tired.
😂 Free
Sofishticated.
😂 Free
Nacho cheese.
😂 Free
It got mugged.